3D calendar puzzles (again)

It has been great fun working again this summer and autumn with the only mildly eccentric ex-pedagogue Sirius, inventor of the 3D crossword and tireless fund-raiser for children with visual impairments. Sirius himself is partially sighted, which makes his 3D crossword website and his 3D crossword calendars even more remarkable. We have worked together for two years and we haven't met yet, but we have agreed that when we do meet at Coventry station I'll be the little bald bloke waving a CD of the Financial Times and Eric will be disguised as Patrick Moore.

This year there are two calendars, not one - a calendar of quickie 3D puzzles that we wrote between us, under the wise and knowledgeable guidance of the big bullies in the publications department of the RNIB, who know everything about design and typography and have no compunctions about telling you that your clues are too long, the rotters, and a second calendar of more challenging cryptic puzzles from a host of the best crossword compilers in the land, as well as me and Sirius himself.

Sirius's Milliganesque genius (and his refusal to take no for an answer) last year won over a highly significant moral partner in this venture, Sarah Montague, of Radio 4's Today programme, and the knot was tied with the BBC's Children in Need appeal. This year Sarah Montague took her personal support to a new practical level - she persuaded her Today colleagues to join her in making sound recordings of every crossword in the 'big' calendar to make life easier for solvers who are at a disadvantage by not being able to see very well. Sarah's name, and those of her colleagues, are on the front of the calendar, so I can name them here for a huge round of applause and a chorus of 'jolly good fellow' - Evan Davis, John Humphrys, Rory Morrison, Jenni Murray, James Naughtie, Paddy O'Connell, Susan Rae, Gary Richardson and John Waite.

So can you do anything to help build a grand new school?

Well, yes.

You could pass on the flier at the top of this post to someone you think might be interested (click it for a full-size jpg), either in buying a calendar as a present for a partially-sighted friend or just in spreading the word.

The RNIB calendar is best ordered by visiting Sirius's website and following the link to the RNIB website.

The RNIB calendar is £6.99; the 'big' cryptic one £9.99.

Ta. Locum.

Sirius's 3D crossword calendar

If you can imagine a cross between Spike Milligan on E(cstasy), James Joyce on G(uinness)  and Stanley Unwin on, well, A(nything), there you have Sirius, the inventor of the 3D crossword and the worst clue writer I have ever known, yes, even including Trevor.

As I have probably mentioned several times to my loyal reader Gladys Adlestrop, who lives in that posh rest home on the promenade and who's actually worked out how to get broadband on her Sinclair Spectrum (she's in the WI, you see), I have been working, and I use the word with my fingers crossed, for the past six weeks with Sirius on his grandiose project to raise a million quid towards a new school for blind and partially sighted children in Coventry.  The ups and downs of Sirius's project have already been documented ad nauseam on this lustrous blog, but I would like just to say that two copies of the finished product thudded onto my doormat at lunchtime (the post is early on a Saturday.) And what a delight to the eye they are, if you like purple.

The volume of e-mails between Sirius and Locum over the past six weeks is such as to have sent Tiscali* and Botswana-IT delirious with joy. There have been well over 200, most of them completely incomprehensible, both to recipient and sender.

Last night's exchange, for example, degenerated into a very boozy argument about pterospondees (like pterodactyls, but even better at handling stress).

Sirius and Locum are plotting the next project - the Dicitonary of Misprunts.

Meanwhile Mrs Sirius and Mrs Locum are planning to meet, having an awful lot in common.

Sirius's 3D crossword website is, if you remember, here.

Do have a look.

* A lie.  I invented it, to protect the virtuous.

WOSS'S BOSSES KNACKER NEEDY NIPPERS

It really was a matter of unfortunate timing. Sirius, whose 3D
crossword project to raise funds for children with impaired
vision I mentioned last week, has had his pips crashed.

One consequence of the abysmal behaviour of Woss and the
other bloke, whose name I have forgotten but I won't lose any
sleep over it, is that everyone at Auntie is very nervous and
keeps looking over his, her, or their* shoulder and boning up on
the producer guidelines.

It now appears that Radio 4's Today programme (which is as far
removed from the tritery and tripery dished out by the
scandalously overpaid Woss as my outside lavvy is from the
planet Pluto) has felt obliged to pull out of a scheduled
interview with John Graham (Araucaria of The Guardian - a
contributor to Sirius's project, and one with the requested Clout)
in case mentioning a specific charity in a news & current affairs
programme breached those guidelines.

Shame nobody thought to mention to Araucaria that his taxi to
the studio had been cancelled.

But what really causes the nostrils to wrinkle, as at rotting
material in the public drains, is that only last week Children In
Need (an Auntie fund-raiser, you will recall) persuaded Sirius to
cut them in on the deal, to the tune of 50% of the revenues
from sales of his crossword calendar. Innocently, Sirius thought
that the massive publicity that involvement with CIN would
bring would more than compensate, in added sales. So he
agreed.

Pause for hollow laughter.

What it has actually done is to cut in half the money that the
planned school in Coventry for blind children will receive from
sales of the calendar. Where CIN's share of the loot will go is anybody's guess.

But I do hope it won't go to the Retirement Home for Disgraced
Celebs With a Speech Impediment.


*sorry, Mr Humphrys. I loathe it too.