Virus hoaxes and round robins

There are two types of e-mail I will not accept any more, and people (sadly, mostly silly women) who send them to me are going to have their e-mail addresses blocked, because these wretched e-mails are just as pernicious time-wasters as the phone-call pillocks who ring you from somewhere far away to tell you you have won a minor planet in Alpha Centauri if you change your telephone service supplier.

The first is the virus hoax.  Computer babies believe them, and pass them on to their entire address book in a  panic.  These hoaxes always say that your entire C: drive is going to be wiped if you open an e-mail with such-and-such a name.  Good friendships have been lost this way.  Write back politely to people who pass on this rubbish, explain why it's rubbish, and persuade them to send your note back up the chain. Tell them to Google a couple of keywords before passing on a panic, for it could save a lot of friendships.

The second is the jokey stuff, or the save-the-earth stuff, or the premature babies stuff.  These girly messages which tug at your heartstrings and say "pass on to everyone in your address book" are as bad as viruses because they proliferate exponentially, wasting bandwidth, clogging up the Internet and costing people time and money.  Passing them on will also lose you friends (and get you blocked), because your sentimental attachment to a cause could be a cause that is somebody else's shibboleth, and people don't like you to assume that they think like you you do when privately they think you're a complete twat.

So next time you are persuaded to pass on a "tell all your friends" message, ask yourself "will I have any friends left if I do?" - and don't do it.

And get Net-wise. Talk, for example, to a child.