Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear

From today's Daily Telegraph

"Fears over the eurozone crisis saw stock markets fall again yesterday. The FTSE 100 closed down 1.1 per cent *. French and German shares also fell.

Meanwhile, a leaked document seen by The Daily Telegraph yesterday showed ** Berlin has drawn up radical plans for an intrusive *** new European body which will be able to intervene directly in beleaguered countries.

Sir John Major, the former prime minister, warned last night that the growing integration of the eurozone nations threatens democracy in those countries. He told Al Jazeera television **** that richer euro members led by Germany and France will “insist on moving towards what we call fiscal union. By that I mean common control over budgets and fiscal deficits”."

* it didn't. It closed down 1.1 percentage points, which is a completely different matter.

** the little word 'that' would have helped. The phrase "The Daily Telegraph yesterday showed Berlin ..." requires an object. Readers have to go back and rethink before they can make sense of the sentence. This is considered rather impolite of writers.

*** 'intrusive' is sneaky, because it is a loaded word. The Telegraph, like the Guardian, is very clever at sending subliminal messages to its readers, most of whom are stuck in an ideological stasis anyway, and need regular injections of Orwellian soma lest they start thinking for themselves

**** Erm, excuse me, but why was Sir John Underpants talking to Al Jazeera (a respected and honourable news service in the Arab world) ? Is he now so far off the radar that only Al Jazeera will listen to him?

You can enjoy the Telegraph's characteristic slipperiness in its language for its own sake. It stands supreme as the paper of Tory spin, and it has many years of experience in keeping baying Tories foddered and watered by its clever use of subtly emotive language.

But all too often Telegraph writers wobble off arguments that they might have made persuasively by snapping to the party line, and by golly it shows.

The real story in all this fluff was that John Major was talking to Al Jazeera.

Does the Telegraph know something that it is only hinting at to its readers?

The breath is bated. 

One's Mobile - or worse, 3's Mobile

I was chuffed to bits when my wife bought me my first 3G phone – a Galaxy Europa from Carphone Warehouse, on the 3 network. £15 a month for unlimited Internet, 300 voice minutes, and 3,000 SMSs.  It was exactly what I needed. From 18 August, when I was given it, to last week it was utterly and totally reliable. Three months trouble-free 3G - too good to be true?

Yes, it was. Last week the phone stopped working. I went onto the 3 website (three.co.uk) on the lappie, popped in my postcode, and discovered that because of 'maintenance work' there would be no signal for 6-8 hours. Well, fair enough, I thought. We’re a bit borderline round here. Perhaps 3 are boosting the signal.

Hollow laugh.  Since the maintenance work a signal – any signal – is now a rare event.

A week ago the 3 map of our little neck of the woods showed just a few pale pink islands in our area (= indoor reception unreliable) in a sea of dark purple (= strong signals indoor and outdoor.) Now the whole of our area is pale  pink.

3 has reduced the power of the signal to FY6 0xx to boost it elsewhere. Orange signal has also been affected, coincentally or otherwise.

I am now fed up with the circularities of troubleshooting, which take hours and hours and only get you back to where you started. As far as I am concerned 3 no longer provides a reliable service in FY6 0xx.  Shame. It was good while it lasted.

The Vodafone signal, however, is excellent, as is O2.

Back to Carphone Warehouse next week.  Switch me from 3 to Vodaphone or O2, please. I just want a 3G phone that actually connects to a network when I switch it on, and does it reliably. That’s what I pay for, but am not getting. 3’s packages are very good on paper, but no good at all when you can’t connect to the network for days on end.